This be the verse

I was watching an episode of Sex and the city, and it features a scene where Charlotte goes to the self help section of a bookstore and sees a bunch of sad sad women, crying despairingly over self help books. The idea is that by the time you read these books you're already fucked and, well, there's a weeping cult somewhere in there...

In my experience, working at the bookstore (for however short-lived that was), the customers who went to the self help section were essentially all rich, smug yuppies who looked (and by this I mean, they had the appearance down) like their lives were perfect. In fact, I can't help remembering a meal with my significant other's job people, where the rich, well-dressed admin/accountant/HR (aren't they all the same at the end of the day?) woman was discussing a book that was better than The secret, but like The secret, but wait - more practical, all in between discussing how into NLP she was.

Ok, so NLP. At the very least, I know this stands for "Neuro-linguistic programming"; this though, sounds like a fairly scary idea. Program yourself linguistically.

"Yes I can, yes I can, yes I can"; or maybe

"Yes you will, yes you will, yes you will"; or even

"I am going to eat your baby now, yes!"

Ok, that's ridiculous - but how does anyone buy into an idea that sounds so much like brain washing? Ok, so I get, it's probably innocuous enough. The only self-improvement thing I've ever read (bar my general fascination in how well He's just not that into you sold) was They fuck you up - which takes its title from a Philip Larkin poem, and discusses the influence of parents on children in their later life. This is hopefully the closest I will get to NLP.

But for the record, the definition of NLP, according to the OED is:

neurolinguistic programming n. a model of interpersonal communication chiefly concerned with the relationship between successful patterns of behaviour and the subjective experiences (esp. patterns of thought) underlying them; a system of alternative therapy based on this which seeks to educate people in self-awareness and effective communication, and to change their patterns of mental and emotional behaviour.

Well, without lying and saying that I in any way understand what this definition means, I will put it out there that I'm still not buying it. In fact, it seems slightly more vapid than it did before - "successful patterns of behaviour", huh?

All I can think is that successful patterns of behaviour cannot really imply anything more important than just looking successful(?) Maybe my perception is somewhat marred by my meeting a very very successful and competent woman who was at the head of some of the biggest publishing initiatives in the country. She started by telling me, quite proudly, that she was an NLP coach/"mentor", and reciting her perfect career history (which was undeniably pretty good). This, though, was countered by her horribly messy love-life which was laid open for everyone to see: rigor mortis and dead-lover-in-a-frame, ex-come-current-husband, seroquel, weight-gain and all. You can't help wondering how a coach of these "successful patterns of behaviour" can end up looking like such a nutter.

So, NLP. It's hard to believe that the people who write these books and create these courses aren't just laughing their way to the bank at every NLP "mentor's" expense. Ok, not that I feel too bad about that one.

Here's Larkin's famous poem. It's one of my favourites.

This be the verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Slavoj Zizek's ENJOY YOUR SYMPTOM.

I love the title.

There are two noteworthy things for me so far:

1. It starts with a discussion of how Zizek doesn't like sharing the main dishes in a Chinese restaurant. This was interesting, from my own personal experience. But I will tell you why later.

2. A discussion of how Lacan perceives the 'mask', which we're all inclined to think of as negative "who is this person pretending to be...etc etc". Basically, the whole idea that a mask is false is denied, in fact --

"the idea that role-playing and disguise can lead to a liberation and realization of the self... [hereby by] assuming a symbolic mandate: insisting on a false mask brings us nearer to a true, authentic subject position than throwing off the mask and displaying our 'true face'".

"wearing a mask actually makes us what we feign to be. In other words, the conclusion to be drawn from this dialectic is the exact opposite of the common wisdom by which ever human act (achievement, deed) is ultimately just an act (posture, pretense): the only authenticity at our disposal is that of impersonation, of 'taking our act (posture) seriously.'"

But back to the Chinese food. Zizek's opening lines are this:

"I have always found extremely repulsive the common practice of sharing the main dishes in a Chinese restaurant"

Now to me this seems important, because I love sharing my food. His friend, who clearly felt the same way tells him that, according to a Freudian analysis of this

"is not this repulsion of mine [his], this resistance to sharing a meal, a symbolic form of sharing a partner, i.e. of sexual promiscuity?"

I thought this was very funny, and a good way to start a book.

Think about that next time you share a meal! And as for the quotation about masks and authenticity and reality, think about that too. But not too hard, because even though this book was suggested to me because I struggle to make sense of Lacan; I'm still not too sure what's going on over there.

Oh yes, and I nearly forgot. Here is a link to a clip of Zizek's "Pervert's guide to cinema", which I loved.

request

Welcome.

I intend to update this blog in approximately five hours time.

I know this has left you in a rather awkward position, for which I am quite sorry.

But maybe you should consider having a cup of coffee, going to see someone about the work you're doing, taking out some library books because you like the titles, and spending some of the money you've recently earned from doing that soul-destroying editing work.

Consider these things.

I will be back, and you might be glad.